The Beastmaster

Matthew McConaughey does his best impression of Tupac the Werewolf.

Breaking News: Coolio Is Still Alive

Cuz we know you were wondering....and apparently he still has a crew of thugs. As you can see his crew looks pretty gangsta. You wouldn't wanna mess with these dudes.

Well, the important news that you've all been waiting for is that Coolio is putting out a relationship book.
"Dating, Mating, and Manhandling" will be full of the one and only's advice on relationships.
Here are some classic samples from the soon to be best seller:
"Save your own ass"
and
"Some guy looks at you in the car, sometimes roll down the window and say hi"

This is why we love Coolio.

source:TMZ

Kirsten Dunst is a Fashion Trendsetter

Shes got the Blueblockers, shes got the generic white t shirt, and shes got bad teeth...so the only difference between Kirsten and my dad is that he actually combs his hair.
Make money betting on your favorite celebrity scandals here.

Joan River makes fun of Baby Suri

Comedienne Joan Rivers is notorious for her blunt put downs, and is now making jokes about Suri Cruise.
First of all, let me say that I think Suri is absolutely adorable, and is my favorite of any of the celebrity babies.
Anyhow, Joan spoke out about baby Suri, stating,
"She's obviously Asian and wears a wig", and that mother Katie Holmes, "doesn't seem to have much talent."
Rivers also commented on Angelina Jolie, by saying "She can catch fish in her big lower lip."
Like Joan should talk, shes had so much plastic surgery that she doesn't even look human anymore. You know the hag struggles to even blink her eyes.
Check out other celebrities plastic surgery here.

30 Seconds to Nasty

Jared Leto, AKA the bloated priest with eyeliner.

David Spade Is Pretty

Almost prettier than Heather Locklear.

Madonna Is Senile

She's like one of those old grannies that goes into a cheap hair salon, and comes out with purple hair and doesn't realize it. Either that or she thinks shes Tom Petty.

Britney Spears Names New Son

In an attempt to hide the fact that her and Kevin are 100% country fried trash, Britney has named her son as if he came from the snooty English country side.
"Sutton Pierce".
I'm honestly surprised Britney was able to think up anything besides Jethro, Billy Bob, K-Fed Jr or Baby Cheetos.
As for Mr K-Fed himself, his choices for names were more likely to include Pimp Jr, Jim Beam and Little Doobie.
As you can see, Kevin was drunk in the pool while Brit was going though labour.

Olsen Twins Denied Entry

Seems like everyones getting denied these days. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen showed up at a Vogue dinner party recently but were turned away. Unlike Paris Hilton though, they had been invited, but were denied when they showed up in their shabby Goodwill outfits.
Just kidding.

New Yorks Daily Dish reports,

"The Olsen twins got a lesson in etiquette from French Vogue on Saturday.
The fashion darlings had been invited — but neglected to RSVP — to an exclusive dinner hosted by Mario Testino, honoring Margarita Missoni and the daughters of Anna Wintour and French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld."
"There weren't places for them because they hadn't RSVPed," says one guest. "They were refused entry at the door!"

You gotta give these girls credit for going out in public wearing this mix of outdated crap. Especially the zippers on the bottom of Ashleys pants, that takes guts. I can see Mary Kate even laughing at that. It's also quite a relief to see that I'm not the only one who wears my lumberjack coat with heels.

Inroducing Mischa 'Pit-Stains' Barton

Hopefully the sweat stains will distract people from noticing how ugly her shirt is. It looks like she emptied out a quarter machine full of those plastic rings, then ripped the fake jewels off the tops of them off and glued them onto her shirt.
Pretty.

It's the Week of Crying Spoiled Brats

Poor little Lindsay Lohan got her ugly purse stolen at the airport in London.

Apparently the bag contained over $1 million in jewelery, and her "asthma medication". Who's dumb enough to lose a bag containing over a million dollars in jewelery? And since when is cocaine referred to as asthma medication? What a baby, $1 million is like pocket change for her, besides she probably got all the jewelery for free.

Unfortunately the British police announced that they found Lindsay's missing Hermes bag, although they still have to determine whether or not anything was taken.
Lets hope it was cleaned out well, because I can't wait to see all this crap up on Ebay.
Bet on Lindsay here.

Even Hotter, Paris Hilton gets a DUI

Sorry about the double Hilton post, but I couldn't resist laughing at how dumb she is.
The LAPD noticed her driving her Mercedes "erratically" at 12:31 AM Thursday morning. They gave her a sobriety test and she failed. Dumb-ass was arrested and taken to the Hollywood station where she was bailed out by her sister.
The most annoying part of this though, is how she called in to Ryan Seacrest and made excuses for her DUI.
Paris told Ryan she had an excruciatingly long day filming a music video, and then attended a charity event and had one margarita. She says she left to drive home and may have been going a little fast because she was "starving" and just wanted an In-N-Out Burger!
Right, so that excuses you from driving drunk? Because you're "starving", and all you wanted was a burger!?
Oh, and since when are people swerving all over the road from one margarita?

Unless Tara Reid decided to call in and leave an anonymous tip.
Now that would be funny.

Now That's Hot!

Paris Hilton gets denied entry to Bungalow 8 in NYC and starts crying. So there IS some justice in the world. This just made my day.

Britney Spears + Frappuccino = Love

Can Britney Spears even go one hour without a venti frappuccino? How many does she go through a day? Seriously, I don't think I've seen a picture of her in the last 2 years where shes not holding one. Unless you count that pic wheres shes holding this huge ice cream sundae. Heres a recent pic of Brit driving to Taco Bell. Fast food is also part of her healthy diet.

Tom Cruise is Sorry, Very Sorry

Tom Cruises latest PR scam involves "apologizing" to Brooke Shields.
It's been over a year since Tom freaked out at Brooke over her use of antidepressants, and a colleague of Toms said he deeply regrets what he said. Right. More like Tom has been dumped by Paramount, and deeply regrets that nobody will hire him anymore, so hes scrambling to clean up his image.
Remember when Tom said there was no such thing as a chemical imbalance that needs correction with drugs, and that depression could be treated with exercise and vitamins?
Unfortunately for Tom, he didn't realize that he was the one with the chemical imbalance.

Brooke said that Cruise actually apologized in person Thursday.
"He came over to my house, and he gave me a heartfelt apology," Shields said during an appearance on The Tonight Show.
"And he apologized for bringing me into the whole thing and for everything that happened...And through it all, I was so impressed with how heartfelt it was. And I didn't feel at any time that I had to defend myself, nor did I feel that he was trying to convince me of anything other than the fact that he was deeply sorry. And I accepted it."

I just wonder what kind of ridiculous amount of money he had to pay Brooke to say that.
Bet on Tom Cruise here.

Jennifer Lopez now Reads Palms

JLo looks like she should be doing psychic readings instead of whatever it is that she does now.
I see she brought skeletor out of his crypt for the night too.